Sheriff Hood Sheriff Hood

Sheriff’s Office · Notice No. 1

Protecting you… right out of the trade.

Hear ye, hear ye. Robin Hood's old enemy has taken the badge, pinned it to your broker, and appointed himself your protector. Whensoever the trade finally turns good, Sheriff Hood shall slam the vault door shut, smiling the whole while, for your own protection.

Buy's closed, partner. — S. Hood, $SHERIFF

Try the buy window Read the ordinances
Sheriff Hood standing guard on the edge of a frontier town

Exhibit A

The Buy Window

A demonstration of the Sheriff's protection, for the public's education. Reach for the button. Nothing is bought here; nothing ever gets the chance.

The window is open. For now.

Posted by order of the Sheriff

Town Ordinances of the Brokerage

Read aloud each dawn by Deputy Margin, shortly before he helps shut the door.

Ordinance No. 1On Green Candles

Whensoever a chart runs green for more than three minutes together, the buy window shall be shut, the citizen being plainly in danger of making money.

Ordinance No. 2On the Opening Bell

Deputy Margin shall ring the opening bell at sunup, with great ceremony, and shall assist in slamming the vault door no later than a few minutes thereafter. The bell is for morale.

Ordinance No. 3On Winning Positions

Any townsfolk found holding a winning position after dark shall have said position escorted to the vault for safekeeping. Receipts are not issued.

Ordinance No. 4On the Sell Window

The sell window stays open at all hours, day and night. The Sheriff is generous like that.

Ordinance No. 5On Cheering

Gentlemen in top hats behind the vault door may cheer as loud as they please whenever it slams. Cheering from outside the vault constitutes loitering.

Ordinance No. 6On Complaints

All grievances may be filed in person at the Sheriff's office, which is closed. For your protection.

Roster of the Office

Who's Guarding the Vault

  1. Sheriff Hood, gold star on his vest, green ten-gallon hat

    Badge No. 001

    Sheriff Hood

    Sheriff · Head of Customer Protection

    Stout, smug, and grinning under a green ten-gallon hat, with a crooked tin star on his vest and the vault key on his belt. He has never once locked the door without smiling.

  2. Deputy Margin ringing a brass opening bell

    Badge No. 002

    Deputy Margin

    Deputy · Bell Ringer, Door Pusher

    Jittery, eager, always early. Rings the opening bell like his life depends on it, then shoulders the vault door shut a few minutes later and apologises to nobody.

  3. The Posse, a shadowy gang of fat cats in top hats, cheering

    No badge required

    The Posse

    Behind the door · Cheering section

    A shadowy gang of fat cats in top hats who live on the far side of the vault door. Every time it slams shut, you can hear them through four feet of steel.

Posted at the teller window

$SHERIFF

CA

Keep this ticket. The Sheriff won't.